Warning before you scroll – NSFW photo at the end! – Project Naked
I took a naked(ish) selfie and put it on the internet…
… I never thought that I would say that.
I used to be so shy that I couldn’t talk to a group of more than 2 or 3 people without blushing furiously. I would intentionally keep quiet if I thought that too many people would start listening, because I just could not deal with kind of attention.
I am so different now, but I will never forget that freckly little nerd who so badly wanted to speak up, but was too scared.
I realised that being shy was holding me back from all the fun things that I wanted to do. Until one day I thought to myself ‘Fuck it, what would you rather, miss out on all the fun shit and stay quiet, or speak up, occasionally make a twat of yourself, but have fun doing so?’
That shift has helped me to realise that I like life at it’s most ridiculous.
I enjoy saying and doing odd stuff, just because it’s fun, just to see what happens. I like asking questions, having solo adventures, and trying new things, even though I still find it scary and unnerving.
I like awkward situations; they make me laugh.
Which I guess neatly leads us to the naked photo… because sexting is ridiculous and occasionally awkward right?
The naked self-portrait that you see before you was one that a guy that I find to be pretty damn fine asked me for, which is weird for me, because even though I think that I’m beautiful, I still can’t quite wrap my head around the idea that someone else will think that.
Especially if I happen to think that that person is a babe.
Which you know, is a thing that I need to work on, but I’m enjoying this period of self-growth that I’m going through. It’s neat; I’m pushing my boundaries and figuring out who the fuck I am without a guy that I was in a relationship with on and off for nearly a decade.
That man told me that he loved me, and that I was beautiful in all the ways, but when he left I suffered all this self-doubt… He left me for someone else, many other someone else’s… And I couldn’t help but think that I wasn’t good enough, not pretty enough, not sexy enough… I was sure for a while that I must be the one lacking. I have come to realise though, that it wasn’t me, it wasn’t him, it was ‘us’, that just didn’t work.
It’s taken me a while of being by myself to come to the realisation that I like me; I like who I am, and how I look. I don’t need anyone else to validate me.
You are not the first ones to see this photo; I have shown it to a lot of people, I love it. I’m not ashamed of it, or my body, and that makes me really fucking happy.
Shout out to that nerdy kid who was racked with self doubt; it gets better kiddo.
– by “Madam Editor”